Scaredy Cat

Forget monsters, spiders and snakes. What really gets my toddler hysterical is ants and flies.

This evening, Daisy was about to undergo a nice calming bath before bed. Instead, she imagined that there was a bug at the bottom of the tub (it was a black speck of something) and went into hysterics.  My husband and I had to force her to bathe. It wouldn’t have been an issue had she taken a bath in the past few nights, but by my calculations it’s been about three days, and she was getting too stinky to turn down a bath.  My husband held her in as I soaped her up, and she screamed bloody murder the whole time. It was traumatizing for all of us.

Sometimes it’s very trying being a mom to a toddler!

Back to School

School’s back in session in a few months, but this year it won’t be my little girl going to school…it will be me! I decided to go back and finish my degree.

Since I finished my A.A. right before Daisy was born, I have wanted to go back to school but haven’t found the time or the money! You know what I mean, right??  Being a mom takes all my resources!  But even if I had been able to scrounge up some spare time or money for school, I live in a little tiny town squashed between the mountains and the ocean, so there are no education opportunities anywhere near me anyway.

I thought I was just out of luck occasionally I do some research on different online universities, just in case. And lo and behold, I found a college I can go to COMPLETELY online that offers the exact degree I want (B.A. in Secondary Education with an emphasis on English)! It’s called Grand Canyon University, and the best part is, it’s a Christian University and some of my courses will be Bible based. How awesome is that? I have to pay to study, but at least some of the time I’ll be paying to study about God!

Most likely I will only be taking one or two classes at a time. The tuition is pretty steep, (It’s about $360/unit, and if I get the military discount it will be $250/unit which is still high!) and we don’t want to get into debt so I’ll have to pay as I go.  So it may take me four years to complete what should take me two years to complete. But, hey, if that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes!

I am feeling very excited at this new opportunity God has presented me with. Now I just need to start looking for some moolah to help pay for the damages!

Anyone want to donate to my college fund?

Precious Baby Handprints

I never was able to get a cute inked hand-print of my daughter when she was a baby. We got the feet, but for some reason skipped those adorable little hands. Well, it’s all going to be okay now, because the other day Daisy made her own hand-prints in something even better than sweet pink ink. Can you guess what it is??

POOP!

How many of you other mothers have had this happen? Little darling goes down for a nap, and the next thing you know there is shrieking coming from her bedroom. You run in, and behold! Poop, poop, everywhere, poop!

A little on her face, a little on her crib, a splatter on the wall, a print on her blankie, and of course, a diaper full of it.  Glorious.

Well, our experience wasn’t quite that bad. I must have caught her right as she started, because there were only two poopy hand-prints on her crib. I have known people whose children were covered in the stuff by the time they got there!

I thought two year olds were supposed to be smarter than that. I guess the temptation of playing in doodie was just too much to handle!

More Adventures in Potty Training: Potty Talk

 For about a month now, my two year old has been using the big girl potty.  She pulls down her pants on her own, sits down, and goes like a pro. It’s all been so exciting, potty training a toddler for the first time. Daisy has just caught on so quickly. There’s only one small glitch in our potty training adventure. When she’s done and it’s time to wipe her bum, she looks up at me and says cheerfully, ”Ass wipe.” 

The first time she said it, I was shocked. I know I have never said those words around her, so where did she learn it? Her father doesn’t talk like that either. It was a mystery. A slightly funny, slightly distubring mystery.  It wasn’t until recently I realized she is not meaning to say, “Ass wipe,” but rather, “Let’s wipe,” which is what I used to say when I was teaching her to wipe after using the potty.

So my two year old is not talking potty talk after all. Thank goodness…how would I explain that one to my mother?

Stinky Kiss!

My husband let me sleep in for awhile this morning, and when he thought I had had enough sleep he brought our daughter in to the bedroom to snuggle me awake.  I love waking up to her adorable angel face!

As I rolled over to give her a hug and a kiss, she backed up and said, “No! Stinky kiss, mommy!”

My husband and I looked at each other thinking, what the heck is she talking about?  Then it dawned on us that she must have smelled my morning breath!  What was I thinking trying to kiss my poor daughter when my breath must have smelled like a dragon’s? 

I asked her, “Does mommy have bad breath?” Of course she repeated right back, “Bad breath!” and wouldn’t kiss me the rest of the morning. 

Can’t blame her; I will not kiss my husband in the morning either!

Goodbye for Now

Sunday was the day I said my final good-byes to my pregnancy.

Short Recap: I had my first ultrasound at ten weeks, and the machine showed our little baby was there, but he didn’t have a heart-beat. We were devastated. The baby had stopped growing at eight weeks, but there had been no sign of miscarriage. There hadn’t been a spot of blood blood, and my pregnancy symptoms were still going strong. But still, my baby was gone. I found out it’s called a missed miscarriage, and that I had two choices…to wait for my body to pass the baby on its own, or to have a D&C. I chose to wait.

From the day the baby stopped growing, it took four weeks for my body to expel everything. I started mildly bleeding on a Friday, and Sunday morning I began cramping very lightly. I had been told that miscarriage cramps feel a little worse than period cramps, so that’s what I was expecting.

Well, maybe it’s different with everyone, but my cramps got so bad I couldn’t talk through them. I literally felt like I was giving birth. There was also so much blood. It was not a fun experience. I was thinking to myself, “After all the emotional pain we’ve already gone through, why does it have to hurt like a bitch too!?” (I cuss in my mind. Sometimes out loud.) In all, the whole ordeal (from the first signs of blood to now) has lasted seven days, and the bleeding is still going strong. It is lighter though.

The miscarriage was hard, emotionally and physically. I never imagined the pain that miscarriage entailed…To all my friends who have miscarried in the past, I am so sorry. Now I understand. I am sorry if I said the wrong thing, or didn’t say enough. 

I love the Lord with all my heart, and I trust that He has huge plans for each of our lives that span far larger than we can see. I believe that our recent miscarriage has a purpose, and that purpose will play out someday. Maybe we will never know “why” until we get to see the Lord face to face. Maybe we won’t care at that point. All I know is that I believe with everything in me that God will use bad things for good for those who love Him. So, here’s my bad, God, and I’m trusting you to turn it into good!

Eating In to Save Money

I look for ways to save money anywhere I can. Upon realizing that my family way overspends on dining out, I came up with some ways to save money by eating in, while not compromising on great tasting food.

• Do you like Chili’s? Our favorite restaurant used to be Chili’s, and we ate there at least once a week. That was back when we lived in civilization (we now live in a village of less than 10,000) and the nearest Chili’s is hours away.  I thought I would not be able to live with out my southwestern eggrolls, and then I found a copycat recipe to make them at home. They are just as yummy, and I can save money making them at home! You can find a copycat recipe of Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls here.

• Another inexpensive Mexican-food-type recipe I make at home often is simple quesadillas. Ingredients are shredded chicken, Rotel, cheddar cheeze, and tortillas. I saute the chicken, add Rotel to the pan and heat up, spread some on a tortilla, top with cheese, and throw them in the oven. Tasty!

• I LOVE authentic Mexican restaurant salsa, but eating out at Mexican restaurants with a family of three can get expensive. Lately I’ve been looking in the refrigerator section at the grocery store, and I have found authentic Mexican salsa from a local restaurant for a little over $2 a container! Yum!

• My husband and I have a trick for cheap pizza that gets us rave reviews from all our friends. We buy Boboli crust and sauce when it’s on sale and a bag of mozzarella cheese. We chop chicken breast into pieces, bread with egg and then flour, fry, and then toss it in Hooter’s hot wing sauce which we buy at Wal Mart. This is the best pizza you will ever eat, no joke, and it costs under $10.

• Have you ever used Taco Bell taco seasoning that you can buy in the market? It tastes even better than the fast food version, and you can feed a whole family for under $3 if you buy the box with the taco shells, salsa, and seasoning. Just add lettuce, tomato, and cheese.

What do you cook to save money by eating in?

PURPLE

(I do not look as cool as this girl!) Oh, and my hair turned purple. I think I left the toner in too long! Any advice? I’m not sixteen anymore so the purple hair is not really cool…hehe.

D&C Info on the Web

WebMD.com states that the risks of D&C are injury to the cervix or uterine lining, infection, and excessive bleeding. Less common risks include uterine preforation, blood clots, or infertility.

AmericanPregnancy.org also lists as risks weakening of the cervix, incomplete procedure, and risks associated with anesthesia.

Having a D&C is definitely a personal choice. After miscarriage, the last thing I wanted to do was even consider having a D&C and risking my womanly parts.  I am blessed to have seen a doctor who did not pressure me to have a D&C. He listed the risks of waiting too long to see if my body would miscarry on its’ own, and he also listed the risks associated with D&C.  If your doctor pressures you to have a D&C, leave immediately and think it through on your own.

Undergoing a D&C is not a death sentence. The risks are there, but there are risks with every surgery. There are even risks with waiting too long on your body to do its’ thing naturally.  If you are faced with this decision after a miscarriage, think it through, weigh your options, and make the choice that suits you best physically and emotionally.

I am happy/sad to report that at three weeks post miscarriage, I have been bleeding steadily for over a full day now. Hopefully, this is the beginning of the end for my miscarriage. 

I have loved getting comments from those of you who are going through the same thing. It has been uplifting, helpful, and wonderful. Please continue to keep in touch! And one of these days we’ll be chatting about our healthy, full term pregnancies!

 

Struggling

One thing that has been hard about this miscarriage journey is that I’ve struggled to be happy for other new mothers. From the day I found out about the miscarriage, it started. When I see a pregnant mother, I have conflicting feelings of joy and jealousy.  Seeing a cute belly poking out is such a miraculous sign of what God is creating inside the women I see around town, and at the same time I think, “That should be me. It’s not fair.”  I know these feelings are slightly selfish…I am hoping they will go away completely with time.